I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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