we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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