ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
