It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
