we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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