so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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