i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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