people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
