Who did Billy Mays play for?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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