Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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