I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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