hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
