I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
