You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
