Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
