nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
