Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
