Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
