help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
