and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
