we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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