They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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