everyone is single if you try hard enough
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
