I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
