and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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