I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize