What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
