sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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