Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
