I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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