God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
