I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
