I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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