The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
