I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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