I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
