I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
