Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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