There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
