So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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