so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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