yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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