I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
