Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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