i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
