Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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