They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
