Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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