is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
