can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize