I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
