think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
