I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize