I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
