And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
