What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Iām torn. Sheās crazy - like legitimately āWear your skin as a suitā crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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